I wrote all this a couple of years ago, and after reading my twitter friends 'Penny's Points' about SSAD has made me feel like posting... I couldn't post it as a reply so am posting this as a link
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My replies that follow were in response to a journalists questions for The Times newspaper. She was doing an article about Summer Sad at the time and found me online after I had posted my feelings on a Seasonal Affective Disorder website.
Please forgive the grammar of my random jottings, all this was written very passionately and from my heart.
I am not starting a BLOG I just wanted to respond with my personal view point on this subject that Penny has wonderfully opened x
“When were you first aware of suffering from SSAD?”
I turned 40 in September of last year, and it has only been within the last 5 or 6 years that I have become actually ‘AWARE’ of my dislike / hate ( a strong word I know) for the Summer and sunshine months. For many many years I have had a preference to stay out on the sunshine, but never thought it was anything other than me, being be.
Going back as far as I can remember, as a child I did love the rain and Winter months. I was born in Scotland, but that said, I do not remember it raining too much and do not remember too much snow. When it did rain I used to stand out side till mum called me in. I so remember standing under the eves of my parents house watching the rain falling and always disappointed when it passed. Even back then aged 5 – 10, Halloween and Christmas were always things I most looked forward too. Not because I associated them with cooler days, but rather just fun times. In Scotland when I was growing up in the 1970’s, Halloween was quite a big thing. It wasn’t TRICK OR TREATING as we have now unfortunately adopted from America, but rather it was a time to make costumes, get dressed up and go out, under supervision, in the dark of night….. ( probably 5.30 now Im thinking about it :)) but it did seem really late.
I have pretty much always wanted to stay out the sun. On family holidays I always wanted sun specks and holiday hat…… and this was well before what we know today about sun damage. It was also nothing to do with disliking the summer.. as the months of the year meant very little to me at that age.
I did suffer from ‘Prickly Heat’ as a child…. I say suffer, though I don’t remember it being a problem for me, other than the fact I used to get occasionally left, on Holidays abroad, in the hotel room, covered in Calamine Lotion under the supervision of my lovely Gran ( who was happy for a siesta ) whilst the rest of family went out for afternoon sun fun and ice creams.
Teenage years went seasonally un-noticed to be honest, more to think about I guess. I did though always shun the sun…. always wanted to be under parasol or in the shade. However that was just me, being me again, and I was never thinking sadness or anything otherwise.
Leaping forward till I was in my 30’s ( with nothing thought about at all in between ) I moved to London. I started to suddenly be aware of the sun and weather for the first time as a factor in my life. I would love rainy and grey days….
Friends would assume that is was because I grew up in Scotland… which their perception was that it always rained and snowed ‘up there’ but that was not the case.
I, with no thinking about ‘Summer SAD’ ( it had not been invented yet :) just started to avoid going out when the sun was out, as much as I possibly could. I would go out, but started to think about hats again, covering up, and sun protection lotion.
I do remember buying ‘Calamine Lotion’ in Boots at this time….. PINK MILKY MILK !! … because I was starting to get red spots on my arms and upper legs. HEAT RASH.
On my best friends Birthday ( 7 years ago ) …SUCH A HAPPY DAY !!!! …. She wanted to go to Brighton…. And that was what we did.
On the train home she mentioned to me, how Red my forehead was, and by the time we had gotten home I was so aware that I had so badly reacted to the sun during the day.
I was blistered and sore on my forehead , and yet she was fine.
This was my moment…… and this was truly when I was aware of the Summer and the suns factor in my life. Not because I had been weather beaten by Brightons sun shine, but rather that the happy day of being out had left me feeling sad and down. It was quite an eye opening moment for me. I disliked the feeling of being over heated, disliked squinting because of the sun and have since disliked sunny days out.
I must once again say that it was nothing about having a reaction to the sun in a conventional sun burn way, but rather that something within me, over the whole of my life, that suddenly came together, and I realised that hot days were not something I wanted for me, and that grey, colder, and winter nights really do actually make me smile :)
“ How does it affect your life both practically and emotionally?”
I have now gotten so used to the slightly odd behavioural things I do :) That they are now normal to me.
Waking up in the morning and taking a peep out the window is always quite pivotal in my day. If it is wet, rainy, grey or overcast, be it Summer or Winter, then I will genuinely feel I sense of happiness deep in the core of my body. If the sun is shining and that day is bright then I will feel part of me sink. I don’t brood about it. I just get on with the day, but if it is really Sunny outside I start to re plan and re schedule my day in a way that will help me either avoid going out or minimise the time I would need to go out.
I work from home as a computer animator, so do not need to GO OUT TO WORK (whither this is just the way my life panned out or whither I planed it that way without thinking) I don’t know. Either way, I am grateful :)
If it is really warm out side, I will have as cold a shower as I can brave in the morning. I have during Summer days also had cold baths come mid afternoon, if I know I am going out later on. The need to cool down is more often nothing to do with the sun or heat however, but rather the thought of the sun and heat pretty much constantly going round in the background of my head. Even thinking about it can quite easily bring on a hot flush ( as it is doing right now…. as I type).
I live with my best friend, and if she is around in the morning, I will do the normal thing of opening the curtains. If she is not I will happily leave them shut. I am so switched on to the changes in light outside.
Even if a cloud passes over the sun, and the light in the room dulls for even just a second or two, I get a happy lift. It really is that quick!!
The first thing I do when I come downstairs is pour a glass of ice cold water. I drink this all day every day straight out of the fridge…..
If I NEED to go out and it is sunny I would either go out first thing or leave it till late afternoon. Between 10 – 4 would not be an option, unless I had too. Crossing over to the shady side of the street would always be part of the outing and walking slower to reduce any heat anxiety would also be taken into account. I nowadays always carry a bottle of cold water in my bag….. Knowing it is there is a bit of a comforter.
Anxiety for me does play a part in going out in the summer. The thought of being TRAPPED on a busy train or bus on a hot day really would make me try to avoid them at all cost. I have before now had to get off a bus in a silent and polite emotional panic because it was so hot and sunny and I really could not cope with being in a tin. Planning which side of the bus of train to sit in now on long journeys is planned in advance. Always get a seat on the side away from the sun.
At home, and as evening comes I do finding my self perking up. I don’t get miserable or depressed as such during the summer….. but I do get SAD….. I do look forward till it’s all over and while it is here evenings make a good break. I love evenings at home, when it gets dark…. even in the summer
“Have you found any treatment that helps?”
I don’t know of any to be honest.
I take Belladonna during the summer..
QUOTE
“Hanhemann proved this remedy in 1799 and used it to treat Scarlett fever. Belladonna is used to treat conditions with a sudden onset. The type of conditions Belladonna treats are similar to the symptoms if someone is poisoned with Belladonna. Belladonna poisoning results in people getting a high fever, sore throat or loss of voice, nausea, delirium, muscle spasms, flushed skin and dilated pupils. Homeopathic Belladonna is used to treat these type of conditions in a person.”
“Have you spoken to doctors, experts about it?”
Never….. Friends and family know I don’t like the Summer and know I don’t want to be out in the sunshine. (I don’t however know what they think about it ?)
“Do you feel under pressure to stay positive ie, because we're 'supposed to be' happy when the sun shines!”
OH BOY YES!!!!
What a Lovely day, Gorgeous day, Beautiful day……. SUN SUN SUN.!!!
What a Miserable day, Horrid day, Terrible weather……. RAIN RAIN RAIN.!!!
This is were I get a bit less emotional about the subject and more light-hearted
Can a grey day, or rainy day…… or cold and snowy day not be a lovely day too.
Get over yourselves with this almost now traditional over the garden fence HAPPY SUNNY DAY chitchat. BAH HUMBUG!
Honestly “Lovely Day” is under used and should be heard more during the cold dark nights on winter.
To be quickly more serious….. yes there is pressure. You are expected to enjoy the BBQ Sunday afternoon, Expected to love the day out at the sea side for a mates Birthday and have a lovely holidays in THE SUN. I have just, without thinking, listed 3 things that would make me feel sad to have to do, and 3 things that I would avoid getting involved in.
7 o’clock weather just came on now for London. Listen to the forecaster. HAPPY HAPPY when talking about predicted sun and good weather……… ‘GOOD’ weather… there you go…. It’s ‘GOOD’….
I however like ‘BAD’ weather…………….. apparently ;)
Biggest self important events in my year….. Longest Day and Clock Changing….. When I know the longest day is coming up….. that means the days are going to get shorter from then on. And when the Clock changes…… earlier dark nights for me is the best news ever….. it is the countdown to Winter.
Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder (Summer Sad) is really here, and it really does affect every thing I do, every moment of my day, during the summer.
It does however not always have to RULE your day….. it is not a bad thing… it is just your thing… and as long as you can talk about it and share it, maybe others will read about it and learn what it really means to YOU :)
All that said, I thank Penny for making it a POINT xxx
